Sender: ʿAlī Ibrāhīm — 13/08/2012
Peace be upon you, dear Sheikh.
What is lawful in marriage according to Alawite Muslims, and what is unlawful?
What are the recommended acts that we should do on the wedding night?
Some people say: pray two rakʿahs before the wedding night.
What are the good days for intimacy with women, and what are the disliked days?
During the time of the Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family), did people behave as people do in Hollywood films today?
Is it permissible to kiss mouth-to-mouth?A second question: During the engagement period — before the official marriage contract, when only Sūrat al-Fātiḥah has been recited — what is permissible for the young man in this stage?
Is it lawful/allowed for him to take his fiancée out to restaurants or on outings alone?
Is kissing permissible in this stage?
If the engagement lasts a year, what is lawful and unlawful during this period?
The Answer
Peace and blessings be upon Muhammad, his infallible Household, and his noble companions.
Engagement (al-khitbah) is a promise of marriage in the future, and consists of reciting Sūrat al-Fātiḥah with the intention of marriage without performing the legal marriage contract. Therefore:
As for kissing, it is disliked (makrūh), and the same applies to being alone together in private (khalwah) unless a third person is present.
awful matters in marriage
They are the normal lawful marital relations, as is well-known.
However, abnormal or repulsive practices that decent souls find distasteful — and that cause aversion — are disliked.
ecommended acts before the wedding night
• Praying two rakʿahs and making supplication.
• Inviting believers to a wedding feast (walīmah), as narrated from Imam ʿAlī (peace be upon him).
The Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family) advised Imam ʿAlī (peace be upon him):
“O ʿAlī, when you approach your wife, say:
In the name of Allah. O Allah, keep Satan away from us and keep Satan away from what You grant us.
If a child is decreed between you, Satan will never harm him.”
Disliked days for marital intimacy
As mentioned in the Prophet’s advice to Imam ʿAlī (peace be upon him):
“O ʿAlī, do not have intercourse with your wife on the night of the middle of the month nor on the night of the new moon.
Have you not seen how the afflicted are struck frequently on the night of the new moon and the middle night?”
Regarding the time of the Prophet
People followed the guidance and instructions of the Prophet, and the indecent acts seen today come from foreign influence and are inspired by animalistic behaviour.
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